


The Prayer of Cosimo

by HelenofTroy



Category: Medici: Master of Florence (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 08:59:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8618002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenofTroy/pseuds/HelenofTroy
Summary: Thick salt-filled tears fall one by one on the oak wood of Cosimo de Medici's desk.His blue eyes weep with helplessness. His  feelings are exposed. In two days he must confess in the cathedral of Florence. But he feels his strength is leaving his body. Just one night ago he made the love to Contessina, his wife, in the darkness, doing all those things to her that  his brother had told to him a day, while he did not believe in any of them, while now  He had experienced them in his own skin. And with them again Bianca came to his mind, but was not the body of Bianca who was under his body, but the body of that beautiful being named Contessina, the true culprit of his unhappiness. Maybe if Contessina hadn´t existed he now would be with Bianca? ...but was not Bianca who he desires. The hell is opening in froint of his hands, his mind, his soul. He can feel how the Devil whispers unintelligible words to his ear, all related to the flames, and to the sex behind them, always in his bed, night after night, asking to him go until the Contessina´s room and touch her, feeling the fire again.





	

Cosimo cries. The tears are so intense that his skin is burned.  
With her eyes closed he hears them fall on the wooden surface of the desk.

It made such a noise that Cosimo, full of fear, opened his eyes.

"No, no"-he says, thinking they were tears of blood. 

"How could I do it again?"-That idea torments him, as he sits down, and dries the wood with one of his sleeves. After that Cosimo takes some of the blank sheets waiting in his drawer and his inkwell with the pen. 

"Oh Father, please listen to my prayer, tomorrow I'm going to confess everything I've done and I want to keep doing, please keep the demons of the flesh away from me tonight, oh Jesus. "-says Cosimo with the crucifix of his neck between his hands, in a voice vehement, hoarse and desperate-" oh Lord, please guide my hand in this prayer, to write the truth that tomorrow I have to say for not to omit anything, none of my sins. All my sins won´t be in this way in my skin only but too in this paper, sharing its torment with my soul". 

"All started just one month ago, Oh Lord, while a feast. She was there, next to me, in the distance, not even i wanted that she would sit next to me like is our custome.  
She´s my wife, Contessina. She´s the Devil´s weapon, she´s the temptation, for that maybe she was dressed in that new red dress, i yet remember how was that dress...-the hand of Cosimo stoped the writting, that was not in the way that he wanted write his prayer by God´s sake, the lust instead leave him was there again, again. 

Cosimo threw the paper into the fire, puffing like a bull. Ah yes that night of their party in honour to the new pregnancy of Lucrezia...celebrating the next birth of another Medici. This time all would be ok. 

Cosimo then let his anger go, while he thought in his son, Piero. But suddenly his mother came to his mind again, bringing with her the warm feeling again. 

Cosimo looked the flames, that consumed the paper, so easy like he devoured to Contessina since weeks ago. 

All had started in that party, when she wore that red dress with long sleeves, silver-studded, she had put on her loose mane. "Damn hair" -she had thought, when he saw her going down the stairs. The silver stones intertwined with her black locks as if they had always been there. Her hair was black like the sky in the most closed night.  
It was dark, like coal, like the ink that littered his papers.  
Cosimo had hated the dark hair in the women all his life. 

For him the women with black hair were the sinful women, the dark women, whom the devil himself had marked. The hair of Bianca, had been Blond, or maybe red? It was so long ago...anyway, the vision of his wife clouded his memories again, putting to Bianca thousand of seas far of him. 

Maybe Bianca was living in Napoles or maybe in Toscana, but he really did not care at all in that moment. 

When Contessina came the whole room turned to look at her, it was like watching a star come down from the sky. There was little hell in her-thought Cossimo watching her down the last stairs. Her body, slender and thin, but with an abundant breast only made the dress more opulent and provocative. Her steps were cut, because her little feets, when she took the Cossimo´s hand. 

Cosimo was not fool. She was absolutelly concious about his wife´s beauty. If his father had not brought to Contessina to his home for concrete their forced marriage such years ago, if Cosimo had found to Contessina reading in one of her gardens when they were younger, he Would have taught his sketches to her, attracted for the dazzling dark beauty of that misterious woman...leaving to Bianca wait for him in the Art school. His feelings for Contessina always would have been complicated, stranges and passionates. Their marriage would have been a true ruin if he´d haven´t felt that physical attraction for her. All that hatred mixed with his desire for his wife, was a fact, even for his own son. 

Cossimo put his right hand over the flames, while he closed his eyes again, remembering that moment, losing in its sensation. Hot, a sweet touch, so innocent like a child´s touch, but letal, Mortally lethal for both. 

For Contessina for have that soft touch, for Cosimo for fall in the dark hole of the lust again. 

He had left Magdalena go...but not even with Magdalena he had that inner battle in his soul, that torment that was taking the form of an obsession. "i hate you, i hate you" seems that was saying his hand, taking the own Contessina´s hand strongly with fear of have her gone, while his eyes were admiring her profile, the silver jewels in her dark hair, so beautiful, so hatred for him because she had destroyed his life. Cossimo wanted take Contessina and stamping her against the wall, as he had done when they were promised, to make her pay for all the hatred, all the desire he felt for her, charmed for that strange thing that she always made him feel when he looked her honey eyes. Then suddenly Contessina have let go of his hand laughing at a toast with Lucrezia. 

-Father, father, are you ok? -the Piero soft voice woke up.  
-Of course, son. Congratulations, this time the things will go better-said Cossimo sincerely strocking the his son´s back, while his eyes searched to his mother... with his hand burned, Sore, and yet wishing that she would take it back, to burn it again.  
Because Contessina did not touch him, she burned him. Since they married for first time. 

Now, screaming, Cossimo turned blind with desire, the hands of the fire. How was possible feel such desire if she was not even in that bedroom?? 

Cossimo looked to the desk. 

His prayer! His prayer was gonna to be written. 

But first He wet his hands in fresh water. Fresh water...then the voice came back to him, "Cosimo, did you feel her touch, her eyes, her beauty this night? she has already condemned you. The gates of heaven are closed for you. She was who She was the one who prevented your union with Bianca, your true wife, Bianca. But you instead end with her, you want have her, you want possess her, take her, take her, for what you´re looking for? Go to her" ....

The voice was male, was a very familiar voice for him. Was the voice of the Devil. The party had ended since long hours ago, everyone was sleeping in their palace. 

Cosimo was absolutelly dressed yet, blinded for the red wine. He Took off his vest and let his white shirt, while opened his eyes hardly, searching a candle. "Take her, take her"-the voice was around him, making grow the unstoppable erection, while in his veins just the hot was circulating, causing the veins of his hands to swell, and those of his head.

Cosimo walked clumpsy the long corridor until the Contessina´s chambers. The candle in his hand was shaking when Cossimo opened the door of his wife. 

She was sleeping, Sleeping sideways, with her red dress still on. She had ordered to her maids to leave. Cossimo put the candle next to her bedside table and put out the other candles, while he threw himself at Contessina. He put a hand on her back, searching under her red dress, looking for a piece of bare, bare back.

-"Take her, take her" -the voice continued -"she Is a love thief. She stole your love for Bianca"-then and just then Cosimo understood how that voice was not the Devil´s but his own voice, mixed in a weird tangle of wine, desire and hate for Contessina as he never had had before. 

Cosimo took the Contessina's head and slowly brought it to her lips.  
He ran his tongue religiously over his wife's lips, as though he wanted to draw the cathedral's dome, so ceremoniously and so desperately that when she opened her eyes and screamed in terror, he could only drown her cry with a loud kiss.

Contessina couldn´t do anymore, just die drowned under the weight of her husband. That was her duty, please to his husband. But long moths ago that he did not do it, visit her chambers, and if there was a day when Contessina was not waiting for it was now, this night. 

-Cosimo, Cosimo wait-she said, putting her hands over his chest. but the storm just had started. 

Cosimo looked at her for a long time, and she perceived in his blue eyes lust, shame, contempt, and despair at the same time.  
Contessina realized that the next day he would be devastated if they made love that night. 

-Cosimo, please not this night-she said-you will regret of this tomorrow. 

-Tomorrow is a day like another, and this is your duty, for it you´re here. I want you-was the last perceptible thing that she heard of the Cossimo´s lips-i hate you...

she believed hear...but was too much late for it. The Cosimo's hands were the hands of a skilled, experienced lover. Not only with her, but with her lovers too.

But to any woman he had made the love so often like to Contessina, his worst enemy, that graceful woman, that careful demon dressed of angel whom now He put it on his side as he thrust his nose into her hair, while taking his pants off, Cosimo kissed her on the back, beating her column again and again, scratching with his ring every bite, as if he wanted to seal those marks and leave the scars forever there .while the dress fell on its own from its violent jolts.

Together they were as one body. The strong movements, followed by the short pauses, only served to grow his hatred, and to make her pride arise, at same time. 

Then Contessina felt the Cosimo's member, hard as a stone, scratch with violence and sweetness the walls of her inside.  
Her strength, defeated. Her malice, broken. On the side and on all fours, it was a dishonorable position. Even in the darkness. 

-Ah...  
Her climax was gonna to come soon, but when was almost for happen, Cosimo knowing that, stopped, while his lust was bigger everytime, like if he´d have taken a magical potion.  
That was her husband.

Contessina was absolutelly naked. Her breaths, covered by his husband´s hands. His mouth without piety reached her ear, and yet he said all what he was feeling...such words would shame to the saints...they spoke about the hell, the hate, the desire of pierce her, of possees her until the morning...suddenly her thighs felt Cosimo's knees, he was changing again...Contessina believe that was gonna to exploit. But if she pleaded now, he would never respect her again, though her bowels were about to explode. 

-I do not feel like being your wife. I will never ask for your forgiveness-she said while he ate his ear, of a single bite, sinking his white teeth into her skin gently.

Then Contessina saw how the climax Rose up at her feet, as if this were a demon made of darkness and fear, dressed with a golden dress made of golden beauty...  
She feared Cosimo, but not enough. She feared his power, the power to turn her away from him as his wife. Not was a matter of love, not even of personal dignity, but was a matter of desire...of obsession. On top her Cosimo collapsed like a madman, screaming with pleasure, like a crazy drug addict, while his essence swelled the womb of his wife.  
Contessina then, felt how an strange insatiable need was born in her bowels, when she can look drunk by the pleasure to his husband looked how he separated her legs, while she screamed of pain...asking a help that neve came. 

In the next days, the same face of shame that she had predicted...Cosimo looked here while their dinners with surprise, desperation and an unseen anger. But in the night, the same ritual while days, while weeks...even when she had her monthly period, he did not have piety. And always in the last Cosimo´s las cry of pleasure, that uncontainable pain of loss, of impotence because his seed were left in that china skin doll body night after night, because he wanted hate her, and was getting it, but seemed that the Cosimo´s hate for Contessina was included with that lust. Was almost if God would be punishing him. Surely that for had let go to Bianca in his youth. 

But who was Bianca really? In all those nights when Cosimo hidden made the love to Contessina in thousand of ways differents, until get her so mad like he was, he never thought in Bianca again, just in that desire...that was changing him. 

And now, Cossimo started to write his prayer finally, after remember all the moans, the sweat, the pain, the misery, the almost love, the rude whispers, the two naked bodies full of sin..in her perfume, in his lustful movements over her again, and again wanting reach the same heaven, his hand started to write: 

"Oh Lord, There were two women in my life. One was the light, the another my sin. 

But almost i can not see the first one, because the second, because Contessina, my wife. 

Oh Father, bless me, in spite of all my sins, of all my tribulations. Forgive me, oh Lord, for all the damage I want to do to my wife, forgive my hatred for her presence with me, and be merciful when I die for all the dishonest thoughts I have for Contessina, for touching her skin, for biting her flesh and die within her again, and again.  
How is it possible to combine so much hatred and desire within one soul? I know I’ll burn in hell for this.

I hate her because I need her. And I do not want to need her. I can not need her..  
She is the intruder, the thief of my love, my life.

She destroyed the love of my life, Bianca, my first woman, my only one to the God´s eyes. My wife and only my wife ended with it too. 

The need that my family felt of her presence, marrying me with her was what Precipitated the flight of Bianca. 

Bianca ended in anothers arms because of Contessina. Because i had to marry with her, and give to her forced the kisses that were the Bianca´s kisses, i was forced to give them to Contesina, my body, my soul, my seed, my dreams, my shadow, until my own breath. She stole them of Bianca. Because all my spirit was resting in the Bianca´s halo. Bianca was for me oh Lord, like the honey for the bees, like the memories for the man, like the sun in the sky. She was everything for me, and i was everything for her too. 

Until that Contessina came to my life, and with her she brought the fire, the sword, the war…she changed my life, she took the Bianca´s place, she usurped the Bianca´s memories in my head and bit a bit she spread the poison of her presumed love for me. It poisoned me with anger, poisoned me with the sweetest poison. And i forget the face of my love, of Bianca, Oh Father, i can not forgive her for those things. 

I started to drink in the Contessina´s lips one night after other, losing my faith in You, but searching to Bianca in her, at last this last comfort i deserved, Father. But neither this she let me, because i just see her dark hair when My hands are tangled in her hair. Yesterday in the dawn, i bited her neck in the early light that was entering for our window, while she screamed of pain, because i already don´t even remember the golden Bianca´s hair, her red reflections, her magic sunrise. 

I just can not forgive to Contessina, oh Jesus, because she´s a killer, she´s killing all my memories, like she killed my ability for love, and wake up in my the need of biting, of fight, of posses her, of die…i miss Bianca and her peace, but is the war what i desire more than anything oh Father. For that i know that i will die sinner. 

Because i want destroy to that woman who turned me in a lover without control and usurped my side next to Bianca. Bianca does not exist because of my wife, and not even in a thousand of times i´d change the killer of my happiness for Bianca despite i could make that. 

Oh Contessina, pray to the Lord that forgive you, because i can not. I can not kill you, i can not hit you, i can not hurt you, but neither i can let you go…..both will die damed, Contessina”. 

 

Suddenly the door opened. 

-Oh husband, are you awake yet?-the voice of Contessina appeared like the voice of a mermaid, sugesting how late was already, and sentencing to Cosimo to sinning again.  
He looked at her and she read that in his eyes. That night they made the love again. No doubt she would conceive again, she thought.


End file.
